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Oh, what bullshit. "I can't him, I can't give him my whole heart." But you can live with him, play house with him, have two with him, make a life with him. He's good enough to screw and have with, he's good enough to be emotionalloy supportive as you try to work out your issues, but not good enough to? My, my, aren't we the choosy one. You're obsessed with the IDEA of this other, not with the himself. If you've never had any kind of relationship with him, he has become the focal point of all your escapist fantasies "if you were with HIM, then you might not be a)bi-polar, b)OCD, c)trapped in a relationship with a you do not, d) etc., etc." Life would be perfect, because in your mind, HE is perfect. He's not. He's a guy, probably had a couple of relationships, be married . Bets are that he'd hear your litany of issues and back away slowly, while muttering, "Yeah, let's do lunch sometime, yeah " and then promptly blocks you on his phone. You cannot be in with him. You don't know if he likes cats or dogs, whether he snores, if he wears boxers or briefs, how he treats the waitress, if he picks up his own socks. Is he an optimist or a pessimist? Is he a of honor and integrity, or does he cheat on his taxes? You don't even know if you like the way he kisses you maybe he uses too much tongue or has bad breath. He might be a zero in bed. YOU don't KNOW, because in your mind, you have endowed this with qualities that would make YOUR life better. Besides, if he was THAT perfect, he wouldn't have been shy about getting in touch with you at any time in the last 10 years. That doesn't mean that you should necessarily stick with your current guy, although he must you, in order to be willing to deal with your issues. Just because someone loves you does not obligate you to them, too. I would say, however, that the time for you to have dealt with that would have been BEFORE two. Why not work on your relationship with your SO and what happens? I suspect that if you put half the energy you spend mooning after this fantasy perfect guy into your relationship with your SO, you might be surprised.
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